The Heat of A Summer Thigh – The Great Friction Battle

Gentle Readers,

I am a dress-loving femme.

Once I hit 25, my thighs decided it was time to become acquainted. They previously were happy to stand apart and acknowledge one another from a distance. No longer. They love each other and cannot abide separation. But like many loves, there is friction in their relationship.

My thighs cannot be made to play nice on their own, but they refuse to be kept in separate quarters. I had to come up with a solution so that we could all live in harmony, without confining myself to pants when it is oppressively hot in the summer. I needed the freedom to move and the freedom to not perish of heat stroke.

I tried many solutions and can now help everyone solve their personal thigh-fight.

Solutions for Summer Thighs

My least favorite, but workable solution is Anti Monkey Butt Powder. It is calamine and cornstarch. Softening and drying. It is effective, but I don’t like how messy it is to put on. Squeeze some into your hand and then rub it onto the body part that wants less friction. Some always falls from your hand to the floor. There is always residual on your hand. You have to immediately go to the sink to wash it off. Not a convenient solution when you share your bathroom with two others who don’t want you walking around trailing powder.  I love the name though, because I giggle easily. 7/10.

My next workable solution is Friction Defense, aka Chub Rub. It comes in a tube similar to deodorant. You apply it to whatever body part you want to slide easily against something and let it do it’s magic. I love this product. I previously used “BodyGlide” for runners, but I grew frustrated with the company. The company used to sell one BodyGlide product and it was in a nice gray package and marketed to everyone. Suddenly, they decided that they needed one for men and one for women. There was absolutely no difference in the product, but the packaging became blue or pink. The pink one was also priced higher. That pissed me off. There is no need to gender friction. Then I found the Gold Bond version I’m using now and it is also cheaper than BodyGlide.  Definitely workable. The only drawback with this product is that sometimes you have to reapply based on heat and humidity. I keep a stick in my purse. 9/10.

My actual favorite solution is super femme and no one is surprised. Bandelettes are beautiful. You measure your thigh to figure out the appropriate size and then you wait for these lovely helpers to arrive. They come in multiple colors and sizes and I adore them so much. My thighs are protected and get an extra bit of sexy that absolutely impacts my strut. Just put them on and go about your day knowing that your thighs are safe and gorgeous. 10/10 would buy again.

What are your summer wardrobe protection mechanisms?

Author: ZJ Thorne

Lesbian on the path to Financial Freedom

  • Mr. Need2Save

    I have a slightly different summer wardrobe problem. I somehow became addicted to running and now spend humid DC summers training for marathons. Guys end up having bleeding nipple issues (sorry for that image) due to sweat and excess friction while running. It’s not a pretty sight or feeling.

    Like you I used to use Glide, but it’s just too expensive. I moved on to Gold Bond Friction Defense as well. Much cheaper and gets the job done.

    • I previously was a marathoner, which is how I learned about Glide and GBFD & nice wicking fabrics. It’s definitely an issue for some folks. GBFD definitely gets the job done. I’m glad you found a way to keep running!

  • “Once I hit 25, my thighs decided it was time to become acquainted. They previously were happy to stand apart and acknowledge one another from a distance. No longer. They love each other and cannot abide separation. But like many loves, there is friction in their relationship.”

    LOL! Well written.

    • I’m glad you liked it! I know it’s weird, but so am I.

  • Thank you for enlightening me! I too live in dresses during the summer – dresses and flip flops – but I didn’t know there were so many different solutions to the thigh love story. I’m a bit tempted to try to DIY those Bandelettes. I can see that they are lace, but what holds them up? Are they stretchy lace or is there something else there?

    • The lace is definitely stretchy, but there is also a band of rubber (?) at the top and bottom that does the holding. It would be interesting to see how you DIY-d it. Report back!