Net Worth Week 83 – Find Support Edition

Gentle Readers,
My heart is still hurting, but  I must just wait for her. I know that it will likely be many months. My twitter shows how swiftly my feelings and hopes and fears can change about this. However, I am following our boundaries as stated. No matter how I feel at a given moment. I’m really proud of myself.
This post is so late because I had a slumber-party with my friend and her family. It was soul-refreshing. The kids were sad I had to leave, but I can’t sleep on their couch forever. We played. We ate delicious food. We talked. She and I made plans to make plans for a trip. It was lovely. Rejuvenated me.
 I attended a conference about my business this week, and had my gig likely canceled. It is only likely until someone with the authority to fire me is actually at work. The two people authorized to make the decision were out on vacation when my supervisor said that the project is likely over. Thankfully, the conference was very informative and introduced me to people of like mind.
I’ve not further looked into Talk Space yet. I’m not sure that I need it, or that I can afford it since I don’t know if I will be employed come Monday.
This next week should see the biopsy results for my brother. Then we’ll know what steps he’ll need to take. His wife’s c-section is also planned.  I’m really hoping that it goes well and that the baby is healthy.
Per my girlfriend’s request, I’ll have my physical this week and see if any tests would be necessary for me.
For the second week, my dad could not begin chemotherapy because he has not been able to consume enough. It has been four weeks since he has been able to receive any treatment. I fear that means he has only weeks to live.

This week’s net worth numbers

11/3/2017 11/10/2017
 Joy 1110 1110
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3159  2047
 IRA  15851  15798
 Brokerage 864  863
 Rewards Card 2  -630  -612
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -5979 (BT)  -5764 (BT)
SL 1 -105989 -105668
SL 2 -46713 -46566
 Earnest -2730 -2270
 Net Worth -140668 -140673
 Percentage Change .43% .–%

Do you think I’ll have a job for the next few weeks?

Net Worth Week 82 – Things Get Worse Edition

Gentle Readers,
If you follow me on twitter, you’ll already know that instead of staying with me for a week, the unresolved issues in our relationship jumped out and demanded attention, which included my girlfriend staying with other friends. The short version is that she needs space right now and I am giving it. It is incredibly difficult to wonder if she’ll come back in a few (many) months and want to release the pause button.  But I know that regardless of the outcome, the way she needs love from me right now is from a distance. That means very limited direct communication. She can’t have space to focus on herself if I am filling it up with cute memes or with my woes and joys.
Any time I hurt in major ways, I allow myself to feel the fullness of what I’m feeling, but I also make sure that my friends know what is happening. They can check on me and contribute to my well-being. My friends are doing a great job of loving me.
Even so, I’ll be raw for awhile, but that is just something you experience sometimes. I am using the time to focus on being the best version of myself. I am studying hard. I am loving my friends well. I am doing many more things to develop my business.  I am crying and sleeping and remembering to eat.
I’m already a different person from when she saw me last. Quite literally, as I’m now on a new tray of invisalign. I’m sure that there will be other, less tangible changes as well between now and the next time we see one another. Time does that to people. I know what I hope for and I know that I may never get it. I’ll exist in an interstitial emotional space for a bit.
I’m looking into Talk Space, in part, so that my current string of woes does not overwhelm my friends. The weekly fee for access to the subscription is cheaper than a therapist through my insurance. I don’t think I would do the highest tier, which is the only one that includes one 30-minute Live-Session a month. Can a therapist messaging you once or twice a day make enough of a difference to be worthwhile? I’m not aware of having a mental health issue. I’m just going through a lot and a space for talking is good…
How this impacts me financially. So far, I’ve had to use will-power to prevent myself from buying very expensive beautiful shoes I cannot afford right now. Part of no communication includes me not sending her presents or planning any trips. I’ll be spending thanksgiving at my friends house in DC, which is cheaper than flying to Texas. I’m trying to spend time with friends while spending little money, and that is helped by invisalign. Eating is difficult and most menus have food that is just too tough for me right now. I also think that I’ll be talking more walks along The Mall in the near future. Due to growing my business and having a gig,I spend more time alone than this extrovert likes, and at a time when I am sad and stressed that is definitely not a good thing.
In other tales, more things got worse for my family, too.
My favorite brother who lives overseas and whose wife is in a high-risk pregnancy just told us that he has the precursors of the cancer that is killing dad. Hopefully catching things so early means that appropriate treatment will save his life. That is highly likely. Thankfully, he lives in a country where medical care won’t bankrupt him. He can access it. Being afraid for dad made him go get tested for something that has been bothering him for a year. Our dad’s illness may have saved his life.
This type of cancer mainly impacts men, but just in case environmental factors played a part, my girlfriend asked me to get my physical and update my medical record with the new cancer prevalence in the family. So I’ve made that appointment. She also wants me to do a cancer screening, and I’ll ask my doctor if that is something we should do.  I also checked out the insurance available on the exchange for next year. My premiums are going up by a lot more than any other year since the ACA started, but insurance is important. I clearly need to study to earn more so that I can cover the expensive next few months.
My dad was not actually able to begin chemotherapy because he has not been able to eat or drink enough to have the appropriate ‘levels.’  This sounds ominous to me. I did ask a nurse I know for her thoughts. To her, it sounds normal and not ominous. I’m not convinced.
We are anxiously awaiting the next baby. It’s been a very high risk pregnancy and I have a lot of stress about her safety. Baby should arrive in the very near future.

This week’s net worth numbers

10/27/2017 11/3/2017
 Joy 1109 1110
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3424  3159
 IRA  15469  15851
 Brokerage 872  864
 Rewards Card 2  -1115  -630
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6168 (BT)  -5979 (BT)
SL 1 -105874 -105989
SL 2 -46660 -46713
 Earnest -2725 -2730
 Net Worth -141279 -140668
 Percentage Change -.67% .43%

When many things fall apart at once, what is your self-care? Have you ever used a therapist or Talk Space?

Net Worth Week 81 – My Love is Here Edition

Gentle Readers,
My love is able to work from my home for a few days! Seeing her for more than a 24 hour stint is luxurious. I’m so grateful for her closeness. The badness in the world makes me want to be near her, but it has not been financially, or otherwise, possible.  We weren’t sure this visit would actually happen. So I have some business meetings to attend while she is here, but I am hoping to handle them with a laser-focus efficiency.
MY LOVE IS HERE!
And, back to other bits of my reality.
Still no will yet.  I’ve not yet received my copy of his living will.
Favorite uncle is still in the hospital.
We are done to one pregnant person, because there is a new baby!
I did a ton for my business this week. There is one person in particular I’d love to hire me because I just really clicked well with her.
I’m still studying like a machine! For now, I am ahead in my 3 month plan, but we know that the best laid plans can fail. I’m just going to keep plowing through until there is an obstacle outside of my control.

This week’s net worth numbers

10/20/2017 10/27/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3001  3424
 IRA  15549  15469
 Brokerage 863  872
 Rewards Card 2  0  -1115
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6168 (BT)  -6168 (BT)
SL 1 -105759 -105874
SL 2 -46608 -46660
 Earnest -2719 -2725
 Net Worth -140343 -141279
 Percentage Change .25% -.67%

I guess if my father does not draft a will, then the state he lives in will control everything and I do less; anyone gone through this?

Net Worth Week 80 – Do What You Can Edition

Gentle Readers,
We’ve upgraded to a living will, but no will yet. He said he’d mail me a copy since I will be the one to make final decisions on his behalf. I wish he would draft a will. He’s told me generally what he wants, but that conversation has no legal ramifications.
My favorite uncle is on day 5 at the hospital now, as well. The pregnant people remain pregnant thankfully.
I did some good business things this week. I attended a professional luncheon and met others doing similar work. Multiple people also told me that they are sending people to my business soon. I hope at least one pans out. One client at a time is easiest when you have another job. I don’t know what my capacity for clients is during family emergencies, but I know that my business needs money to survive.
My dentist thinks my invisalign is going well. I told her about the travel situation with my dad and got her advice on how to handle timing. The pain is still around, but much better than before. My teeth are still sensitive enough that I can’t eat hard things and that is impacting me a bit, and I think that this restriction will last throughout treatment.
I’ve been very focused on studying when not worrying about my dad and my business. I have a 3 month plan to get myself over this hurdle and able to take on work in the skill.  These extra expenses right now are stressful and I am trying to focus that stress into learning.

This week’s net worth numbers

10/13/2017 10/20/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 2838  3001
 IRA  15309  15549
 Brokerage 838  863
 Rewards Card 2  0  0
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6270 (BT)  -6168 (BT)
SL 1 -105643 -105759
SL 2 -46555 -46608
 Earnest -2713 -2719
 Net Worth -140698 -140343
 Percentage Change .48% .25%

Still I wonder how to convince a dying person to write a will. Any tips?

Net Worth Week 78 – Pushing Through Edition

Gentle Readers,
I visited my father, and am glad that I have the flexibility that allows me to leave quickly when needed. I’m glad I was there. Instead of his first radiation treatment, we were sent to an ER where he stayed for a few days. The visit also gave me a chance to get some information I’ll need for his last wishes. He wants me to be the executrix and that will be easier if I know what he wants.
I’m grateful that tray two for invisalign is less brutal than tray one was. My teeth are still tender, which is expected, but I have not woken up from the pain during this tray. It is definitely impacting my eating habits. So many foods are just a no-go when your teeth are this sensitive. The candy my girlfriend bought me for the stress of my father’s illness now must be very gingerly and carefully consumed.
Now I’m just trying to make up the hours that I missed at work. The visit included a last minute hotel stay that I hadn’t budgeted for.

This week’s net worth numbers

9/29/2017 10/6/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3466  3195
 IRA  14542  14719
 Brokerage 827  855
 Rewards Card 2  0 0
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6270 (BT)  -6270 (BT)
SL 1 -105849 -105965
SL 2 -46649 -46702
 Earnest -3167 -2708
 Net Worth -141602 -141378
 Percentage Change -.67% .16%

Have you ever been in charge of a person’s estate? Any tips? 

Net Worth Week 77 – Flexibility Helps Edition

Gentle Readers,
I am off to my sick relative this afternoon. I will miss 3 days of work for this visit, but seeing him before the radiation and chemo wreck havoc on him will be worth it. Thankfully, I just had to pay the cost of taxes since I still had miles available.
It’s been quite a busy week. I put my first invisalign tray in on Tuesday and it was painful. It is stillpainful, but the pain for days two and three are different from day one. I met with my client yesterday to fulfill his last minute request, and earned a little money for my business. I gave my business another loan this week to get me through the next month. Hopefully, that will be the last loan necessary. The downsides to owning a small business include needing to handle things even when your family is in an emergency.
For my relative, I have no idea how he’ll respond to treatment. If he’ll respond. So far, he is in remarkably high spirits. Perhaps my girlfriend was right to believe that my family’s ornery-nature could prove the odds wrong???

This week’s net worth numbers

9/22/2017 9/29/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 4548  3466
 IRA  14213  14542
 Brokerage 837 827
 Rewards Card 2 0
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6270 (BT)  -6270 (BT)
SL 1 -105734 -105849
SL 2 -46596 -46649
 Earnest -3160 -3167
 Net Worth -140664 -141602
 Percentage Change .49% -.67%

How many times have your miles saved you money? I think I am at 4 or 5 “free” trips so far this year.

Net Worth Week 76 – Grief Approaches Edition

Gentle Readers,
I went to the baby-shower, and was a good family-member. I  showed up, but then I got the call no one wants. A family member has a terminal illness. The outlook is dim. It is possible he could be the outlier who lives, but the odds are not high. Very not high.
This week has been heavy and so draining. It will get worse.
Next week, I will receive my first set of invisalign and begin adjusting my teeth, and I will try to get everything I can done for my business and my job in anticipation of my flight to visit my family member for potentially the last time.
Thankfully, I work by the hour in my gig. I told them I won’t be there and I don’t have to think about them when I am gone. I do have to think about ensuring I earn enough money. But that is a problem for future ZJ. Right now, I need to be near him.
This week I’ve turned to my friends, without betraying his desire for privacy. I ate in their homes and read bedtime stories to their kids. I told them of my pain and they listened. They show up for me. They provided food and a willing ear.

This week’s net worth numbers

9/15/2017 9/22/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 4107  4548
 IRA  13882  14213
 Brokerage 823  837
 Rewards Card 2 -6345 0
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card 0  -6270 (BT)
SL 1 -105619 -105734
SL 2 -46544 -46596
 Earnest -3154 -3160
 Net Worth -141352 -140664
 Percentage Change -1.14% .49%

How have you handled anticipated grief?

Net Worth Week 74 – Fall is Coming Edition


Gentle Readers,
With more hurricanes impacting the US South and the Caribbean and earthquakes in Mexico, I’m still supporting Portlight Inclusive Disaster Strategies. I may add in Doctors Without Borders.
Another week of waiting for my invisalign, and my teeth are unhappy. The nightguard I have has not been appropriate for my mouth’s current configuration for over a year. It’s taking a toll.
Happily, the great press has resulted in one new scheduled client meeting. I don’t yet know if they will hire me, but this is a good first step. I would feel a lot better about my business’ balance sheet if I had one or two new clients. Lastly, my business finally has a Facebook page. Enough people have tried to connect with my personal page that it seemed like a page could be a good idea. No cost and low effort may pay off. I did not have a page previously because my mentor didn’t. I also had followed her advice about websites for our niche, but people who contacted my office wanted one. Responding to your market matters.

This week’s net worth numbers

9/1/2017 9/8/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3431  3282
 IRA  13495  13555
 Brokerage 825  825
 Rewards Card 2 -3531 -3781
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card 0  0
SL 1 -105647 -105503
SL 2 -46557 -46491
 Earnest -3606 -3147
 Net Worth -140092 -139762
 Percentage Change .42% .24%

How are you supporting after the latest disasters?

Net Worth Week 73 – Harvey Edition

Gentle Readers,
I submitted the small bio and head-shot that my panel required, but mainly this week I focused on Harvey.
My girlfriend moved to Houston earlier this year and now it is underwater. Thankfully, she is safe and able to help from a distance. Every emergency needs people who are good at logistics and connecting folks to the right resources. My job right now is to be supportive without interrupting her.
The organization I am supporting during this event is Portlight Inclusive Disaster Strategies. People with disabilities are often the worst impacted by natural disasters. Portlight has a respected track record in responding to disasters. You probably saw some videos of people being saved out of their wheelchairs and into boats. Once those people are back to dry ground, they will again need their mobility aids. Chairs and other “durable medical equipment”  are vital to life for some people with disabilities, but not available at the Red Cross. For example, people with tracheostomies need sterile gauze and other equipment or their risk of infection and blockage in their air passageway dramatically rises.
Portlight also assists after the disaster. Following Sandy, they helped rebuild ramps into homes and helped refit homes with other accessibility equipment. The need will exist for a long time, and Portlight will be there. Being a person with a disability is never cheap. It is even more expensive when you are trying to access things vital for your particular survival after a community-wide disaster.
I’m still waiting for my invisalign and that next $2000 payment. I don’t know what the delay is. It is making me hold on to cash without paying down the CC, because I intend to do a balance transfer to keep myself liquid for life and my business. The great press my business received has mainly resulted in folks wanting to volunteer for my business and not any new clients so far. This may be an expensive year.

This week’s net worth numbers

8/25/2017 9/1/2017
 Joy 1108 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 285 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 2961  3431
 IRA  13341  13495
 Brokerage 814  825
 Rewards Card 2 -3283 -3531
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -388  0
SL 1 -105531 -105647
SL 2 -46501 -46557
 Earnest -3598 -3606
 Net Worth -140689 -140092
 Percentage Change -.63% .42%

How are you supporting after Harvey?

Net Worth Week 72 – Keep on Building Edition

Gentle Readers,
My interview happened and was published today! It’s still unreal and wonderful. The author did not expect such a fast turn-around either. She confused one of the minor details, which is important to remember when I read the news. This woman was meticulous and recorded our conversation and asked follow ups, but still misunderstood something.
My panel won’t be for many months, but I have done a tiny bit of the preparation. Small bites makes it less intimidating. Both of these things make me feel that the momentum is finally on my side.
I met with a more experienced woman in my profession this week and got a lot of great advice and camaraderie. It seems that she has sufficient interest in mentoring me. I can relieve some of her overflow work so she can focus on the more lucrative tasks. I get a little money and a little supervision. She gets annoying tasks off her desk. I think we both win here. I look forward to growing this relationship. She was warm and kind and very good at her job.
My business was also nominated for a small local award! It’s been quite a week. Even being nominated is a good sign for my reputation.
I’m still waiting for my invisalign and that next $2000 payment. My teeth are definitely ready. The pain is constant.

This week’s net worth numbers

8/18/2017 8/25/2017
 Joy 1108 1108
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 285 285
 EF 11 11
Business 1005 5
Life 2722  2961
 IRA  13236  13341
 Brokerage 809  814
 Rewards Card 2 -3123 -3283
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) -47  0
 Rewards Card -438  -388
SL 1 -105416 -105531
SL 2 -46451 -46501
 Earnest -3591 -3598
 Net Worth -139803 -140689
 Percentage Change .37% -.63%

Do you feel like you are the right side of momentum?