Net Worth Week 88 – A Bit of Work

Gentle Readers,
I’ve worked half a week! It’s been nice to use my brain. It seems like the gig will end very early this morning so I am trying to get in to get what few hours may be available.
Everything else is just the same. Waiting on paperwork for my dad’s estate. Running around to play soccer. Waiting for the government to start the well-paying gig. Hoping that I have enough to get by until that happens. I did get to re-schedule my physical that I had to miss when I was out of state for my dad, and am happy to report that all of my vitals are good. And, my doctor does not think we need to consider me as higher risk for cancer even though he is immediate family; his cancer mainly impacts men and those with very different lifestyles from mine.
I did significant things to improve my business this week and will likely sign a new client this weekend. That’s a relief! I still think I’ll have to give my business another loan, but it can be smaller.
Unsurprisingly, my mental health is definitely improved by having work to do. A little less money stress. An enforced early wake-up time. Less time to hyper-focus on my feelings that shift rapidly still. As I write this, I’m frustrated and angry with my girlfriend. Two days ago, I had a hard time resisting contacting her to tell her how wonderful my day was. These phases are natural. Whether we stay together or break up, they all make sense. All of the emotions are valid. The things I’m angry about I was upset about throughout our relationship. My wanting to share joy with her is the same. All of this can change, but for now, I just have to accept that my emotions are going to stay in a flux position for awhile.
I’m now more than halfway done with Invisalign. After that first week, I’m really glad I stuck with it. Significant pain reduction. I’m looking forward to eating whatever I want again, as well.

This week’s net worth numbers

12/8/2017 12/15/2017
 Joy 1111 1111
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Moving 286 286
 EF 57 57
 Business 5 5
Life 1903 1481
IRA 16027  16064
 Brokerage  867  863
 Rewards Card 2 -2702  -2947
 CC (largest  0  0
 CC (longest 0  0
 Rewards Card -5613 (BT)  -5613 (BT)
 SL 1 -105692  -105791
SL 2 -46577 -46623
Earnest -2284 -1827
 Repay brother  -600? -600?
 Net Worth -143176 -143493
 Percentage Change -.62% -.22%

Do you think the federal government will shut down or that I will start the good gig before Christmas?

Net Worth Week 82 – Things Get Worse Edition

Gentle Readers,
If you follow me on twitter, you’ll already know that instead of staying with me for a week, the unresolved issues in our relationship jumped out and demanded attention, which included my girlfriend staying with other friends. The short version is that she needs space right now and I am giving it. It is incredibly difficult to wonder if she’ll come back in a few (many) months and want to release the pause button.  But I know that regardless of the outcome, the way she needs love from me right now is from a distance. That means very limited direct communication. She can’t have space to focus on herself if I am filling it up with cute memes or with my woes and joys.
Any time I hurt in major ways, I allow myself to feel the fullness of what I’m feeling, but I also make sure that my friends know what is happening. They can check on me and contribute to my well-being. My friends are doing a great job of loving me.
Even so, I’ll be raw for awhile, but that is just something you experience sometimes. I am using the time to focus on being the best version of myself. I am studying hard. I am loving my friends well. I am doing many more things to develop my business.  I am crying and sleeping and remembering to eat.
I’m already a different person from when she saw me last. Quite literally, as I’m now on a new tray of invisalign. I’m sure that there will be other, less tangible changes as well between now and the next time we see one another. Time does that to people. I know what I hope for and I know that I may never get it. I’ll exist in an interstitial emotional space for a bit.
I’m looking into Talk Space, in part, so that my current string of woes does not overwhelm my friends. The weekly fee for access to the subscription is cheaper than a therapist through my insurance. I don’t think I would do the highest tier, which is the only one that includes one 30-minute Live-Session a month. Can a therapist messaging you once or twice a day make enough of a difference to be worthwhile? I’m not aware of having a mental health issue. I’m just going through a lot and a space for talking is good…
How this impacts me financially. So far, I’ve had to use will-power to prevent myself from buying very expensive beautiful shoes I cannot afford right now. Part of no communication includes me not sending her presents or planning any trips. I’ll be spending thanksgiving at my friends house in DC, which is cheaper than flying to Texas. I’m trying to spend time with friends while spending little money, and that is helped by invisalign. Eating is difficult and most menus have food that is just too tough for me right now. I also think that I’ll be talking more walks along The Mall in the near future. Due to growing my business and having a gig,I spend more time alone than this extrovert likes, and at a time when I am sad and stressed that is definitely not a good thing.
In other tales, more things got worse for my family, too.
My favorite brother who lives overseas and whose wife is in a high-risk pregnancy just told us that he has the precursors of the cancer that is killing dad. Hopefully catching things so early means that appropriate treatment will save his life. That is highly likely. Thankfully, he lives in a country where medical care won’t bankrupt him. He can access it. Being afraid for dad made him go get tested for something that has been bothering him for a year. Our dad’s illness may have saved his life.
This type of cancer mainly impacts men, but just in case environmental factors played a part, my girlfriend asked me to get my physical and update my medical record with the new cancer prevalence in the family. So I’ve made that appointment. She also wants me to do a cancer screening, and I’ll ask my doctor if that is something we should do.  I also checked out the insurance available on the exchange for next year. My premiums are going up by a lot more than any other year since the ACA started, but insurance is important. I clearly need to study to earn more so that I can cover the expensive next few months.
My dad was not actually able to begin chemotherapy because he has not been able to eat or drink enough to have the appropriate ‘levels.’  This sounds ominous to me. I did ask a nurse I know for her thoughts. To her, it sounds normal and not ominous. I’m not convinced.
We are anxiously awaiting the next baby. It’s been a very high risk pregnancy and I have a lot of stress about her safety. Baby should arrive in the very near future.

This week’s net worth numbers

10/27/2017 11/3/2017
 Joy 1109 1110
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3424  3159
 IRA  15469  15851
 Brokerage 872  864
 Rewards Card 2  -1115  -630
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6168 (BT)  -5979 (BT)
SL 1 -105874 -105989
SL 2 -46660 -46713
 Earnest -2725 -2730
 Net Worth -141279 -140668
 Percentage Change -.67% .43%

When many things fall apart at once, what is your self-care? Have you ever used a therapist or Talk Space?