Net Worth Week 82 – Things Get Worse Edition

Gentle Readers,
If you follow me on twitter, you’ll already know that instead of staying with me for a week, the unresolved issues in our relationship jumped out and demanded attention, which included my girlfriend staying with other friends. The short version is that she needs space right now and I am giving it. It is incredibly difficult to wonder if she’ll come back in a few (many) months and want to release the pause button.  But I know that regardless of the outcome, the way she needs love from me right now is from a distance. That means very limited direct communication. She can’t have space to focus on herself if I am filling it up with cute memes or with my woes and joys.
Any time I hurt in major ways, I allow myself to feel the fullness of what I’m feeling, but I also make sure that my friends know what is happening. They can check on me and contribute to my well-being. My friends are doing a great job of loving me.
Even so, I’ll be raw for awhile, but that is just something you experience sometimes. I am using the time to focus on being the best version of myself. I am studying hard. I am loving my friends well. I am doing many more things to develop my business.  I am crying and sleeping and remembering to eat.
I’m already a different person from when she saw me last. Quite literally, as I’m now on a new tray of invisalign. I’m sure that there will be other, less tangible changes as well between now and the next time we see one another. Time does that to people. I know what I hope for and I know that I may never get it. I’ll exist in an interstitial emotional space for a bit.
I’m looking into Talk Space, in part, so that my current string of woes does not overwhelm my friends. The weekly fee for access to the subscription is cheaper than a therapist through my insurance. I don’t think I would do the highest tier, which is the only one that includes one 30-minute Live-Session a month. Can a therapist messaging you once or twice a day make enough of a difference to be worthwhile? I’m not aware of having a mental health issue. I’m just going through a lot and a space for talking is good…
How this impacts me financially. So far, I’ve had to use will-power to prevent myself from buying very expensive beautiful shoes I cannot afford right now. Part of no communication includes me not sending her presents or planning any trips. I’ll be spending thanksgiving at my friends house in DC, which is cheaper than flying to Texas. I’m trying to spend time with friends while spending little money, and that is helped by invisalign. Eating is difficult and most menus have food that is just too tough for me right now. I also think that I’ll be talking more walks along The Mall in the near future. Due to growing my business and having a gig,I spend more time alone than this extrovert likes, and at a time when I am sad and stressed that is definitely not a good thing.
In other tales, more things got worse for my family, too.
My favorite brother who lives overseas and whose wife is in a high-risk pregnancy just told us that he has the precursors of the cancer that is killing dad. Hopefully catching things so early means that appropriate treatment will save his life. That is highly likely. Thankfully, he lives in a country where medical care won’t bankrupt him. He can access it. Being afraid for dad made him go get tested for something that has been bothering him for a year. Our dad’s illness may have saved his life.
This type of cancer mainly impacts men, but just in case environmental factors played a part, my girlfriend asked me to get my physical and update my medical record with the new cancer prevalence in the family. So I’ve made that appointment. She also wants me to do a cancer screening, and I’ll ask my doctor if that is something we should do.  I also checked out the insurance available on the exchange for next year. My premiums are going up by a lot more than any other year since the ACA started, but insurance is important. I clearly need to study to earn more so that I can cover the expensive next few months.
My dad was not actually able to begin chemotherapy because he has not been able to eat or drink enough to have the appropriate ‘levels.’  This sounds ominous to me. I did ask a nurse I know for her thoughts. To her, it sounds normal and not ominous. I’m not convinced.
We are anxiously awaiting the next baby. It’s been a very high risk pregnancy and I have a lot of stress about her safety. Baby should arrive in the very near future.

This week’s net worth numbers

10/27/2017 11/3/2017
 Joy 1109 1110
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3424  3159
 IRA  15469  15851
 Brokerage 872  864
 Rewards Card 2  -1115  -630
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6168 (BT)  -5979 (BT)
SL 1 -105874 -105989
SL 2 -46660 -46713
 Earnest -2725 -2730
 Net Worth -141279 -140668
 Percentage Change -.67% .43%

When many things fall apart at once, what is your self-care? Have you ever used a therapist or Talk Space?

Net Worth Week 68 – This is Gonna Hurt Edition

Gentle Readers,
I’m so glad that the most recent attempt to kill my access to health insurance as a small business owner failed!
The community theatre show was dreadful, but I enjoyed seeing my best friend. Our schedules have not aligned often this summer, and I had missed her.
I had my first chance to test myself in my new skill due a job posting. I did not achieve a high enough score this time, but I have  much better idea about how to move forward. I discussed the test results with my tutor and she is helping me with my plan to re-focus where my skill is lacking. Knowing where you stand is powerful knowledge. I think a few more months of hard focus should have me ready.
I went for my semi-annual cleaning, and happily have no cavities! My dentist has now approved me for invisalign to help fight my TMJ since it seems my teeth have finished shifting after the removal of the final wisdom tooth. It’s going to be an expensive few months. However, I am grateful for this as it should reduce my pain. I’m frankly weirded out by the idea that my smile will be forceably changed. My teeth have always been crooked and I like that about me. I worry that I won’t recognize myself and that I will look less interesting.  But, I must see reason, and know that my teeth are not in the healthiest position currently.
The cost of invisalign would have been easier to handle with a gig in the new skill, but that was not yet to be.

This week’s net worth numbers

7/21/2017 7/28/2017
 Joy 1107 1107
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 285 285
 EF 11 11
Business 1004 1004
Life 1480  1499
 IRA  13479  13481
 Brokerage 824  809
 Rewards Card 2 -2045 -2406
 CC (largest) 0  -114
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card 0  0
SL 1 -105213 -105329
SL 2 -46359 -46411
 Earnest -4025 -4033
 Net Worth -139365 -140010
 Percentage Change .45% -.46%

Did you ever have braces?

Net Worth Week 42 – Back to the Dentist, Again

My streak ended at 8 weeks’ positive net worth growth. However, we got word that the project which was scheduled to end in four weeks will now extend an additional four months. I also have a new client signing this weekend. There should at least be some cash coming in. We’ve not been told anything about our current unlimited overtime, and I’ve tried to take advantage of that this week knowing that I was spending so much on my mouth.

This week’s net worth numbers

1/20/2017 1/27/2017
 Joy 1103 1103
 Travel 324 324
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 45 45
 Moving 284 284
 EF 810 810
Business 501 501
Bed  0.19 0.19
 Life 1716 1501
 IRA 11020 11458
 Brokerage 663 674
 CC (largest) -4265 -4209
 CC (longest) 0 -10
 Rewards Card -1365 -2030
 SL 1 -103767 -103883
 SL 2 -45698 -45751
 Earnest -6532 -6546
 Net Worth -145120 -145688
 Percentage Change 0.29% -.39%

Why do we separate dental and mental health insurance from the rest of our body?