Net Worth Week 84 – Hard Week Edition

Gentle Readers,
My gig ended last Monday, but I have an interview to do similar temporary work as a supervisor. I hope that this works out. I will likely have at least two weeks without earning money.
My brother’s high-risk pregnancy ended with an apparently healthy child. They live overseas, and their country has some strict rules for fathers in hospitals. He had very little time with his child at first. Gratefully, his wife is being released today. Their child needs a little more monitoring, but things appear okay. That brother’s biopsy results indicate that he does not actually have cancer and he should be able to avoid the cancer that impacted our father by lifestyle changes.
Our father passed away a few hours after his most recent grandchild was born. Most of his children were en route, but did not make it in time for a final goodbye. One of his children had not been able to visit him during this illness at all. Another only saw him in his final hours – after he’d already lost the ability to communicate. I have many thoughts about this, but for now, I need to begin managing his estate and that involves many phone calls and figuring out what all needs to be managed.
I had to cancel my physical because I was near my dad, but I will reschedule. I also need to request a month-long break on Earnest.

This week’s net worth numbers

11/10/2017 11/17/2017
 Joy 1110 1110
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 2047  2855
 IRA  15798  15827
 Brokerage 863  851
 Rewards Card 2  -612  -891
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -5764(BT)  -5613 (BT)
SL 1 -105668 -105833
SL 2 -46566 -46642
 Earnest -2270 -2277
 Net Worth -140673 -140224
 Percentage Change .__% .31%

Have you ever had to handle an estate? Any tips?

Net Worth Week 83 – Find Support Edition

Gentle Readers,
My heart is still hurting, but  I must just wait for her. I know that it will likely be many months. My twitter shows how swiftly my feelings and hopes and fears can change about this. However, I am following our boundaries as stated. No matter how I feel at a given moment. I’m really proud of myself.
This post is so late because I had a slumber-party with my friend and her family. It was soul-refreshing. The kids were sad I had to leave, but I can’t sleep on their couch forever. We played. We ate delicious food. We talked. She and I made plans to make plans for a trip. It was lovely. Rejuvenated me.
 I attended a conference about my business this week, and had my gig likely canceled. It is only likely until someone with the authority to fire me is actually at work. The two people authorized to make the decision were out on vacation when my supervisor said that the project is likely over. Thankfully, the conference was very informative and introduced me to people of like mind.
I’ve not further looked into Talk Space yet. I’m not sure that I need it, or that I can afford it since I don’t know if I will be employed come Monday.
This next week should see the biopsy results for my brother. Then we’ll know what steps he’ll need to take. His wife’s c-section is also planned.  I’m really hoping that it goes well and that the baby is healthy.
Per my girlfriend’s request, I’ll have my physical this week and see if any tests would be necessary for me.
For the second week, my dad could not begin chemotherapy because he has not been able to consume enough. It has been four weeks since he has been able to receive any treatment. I fear that means he has only weeks to live.

This week’s net worth numbers

11/3/2017 11/10/2017
 Joy 1110 1110
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3159  2047
 IRA  15851  15798
 Brokerage 864  863
 Rewards Card 2  -630  -612
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -5979 (BT)  -5764 (BT)
SL 1 -105989 -105668
SL 2 -46713 -46566
 Earnest -2730 -2270
 Net Worth -140668 -140673
 Percentage Change .43% .–%

Do you think I’ll have a job for the next few weeks?

Net Worth Week 82 – Things Get Worse Edition

Gentle Readers,
If you follow me on twitter, you’ll already know that instead of staying with me for a week, the unresolved issues in our relationship jumped out and demanded attention, which included my girlfriend staying with other friends. The short version is that she needs space right now and I am giving it. It is incredibly difficult to wonder if she’ll come back in a few (many) months and want to release the pause button.  But I know that regardless of the outcome, the way she needs love from me right now is from a distance. That means very limited direct communication. She can’t have space to focus on herself if I am filling it up with cute memes or with my woes and joys.
Any time I hurt in major ways, I allow myself to feel the fullness of what I’m feeling, but I also make sure that my friends know what is happening. They can check on me and contribute to my well-being. My friends are doing a great job of loving me.
Even so, I’ll be raw for awhile, but that is just something you experience sometimes. I am using the time to focus on being the best version of myself. I am studying hard. I am loving my friends well. I am doing many more things to develop my business.  I am crying and sleeping and remembering to eat.
I’m already a different person from when she saw me last. Quite literally, as I’m now on a new tray of invisalign. I’m sure that there will be other, less tangible changes as well between now and the next time we see one another. Time does that to people. I know what I hope for and I know that I may never get it. I’ll exist in an interstitial emotional space for a bit.
I’m looking into Talk Space, in part, so that my current string of woes does not overwhelm my friends. The weekly fee for access to the subscription is cheaper than a therapist through my insurance. I don’t think I would do the highest tier, which is the only one that includes one 30-minute Live-Session a month. Can a therapist messaging you once or twice a day make enough of a difference to be worthwhile? I’m not aware of having a mental health issue. I’m just going through a lot and a space for talking is good…
How this impacts me financially. So far, I’ve had to use will-power to prevent myself from buying very expensive beautiful shoes I cannot afford right now. Part of no communication includes me not sending her presents or planning any trips. I’ll be spending thanksgiving at my friends house in DC, which is cheaper than flying to Texas. I’m trying to spend time with friends while spending little money, and that is helped by invisalign. Eating is difficult and most menus have food that is just too tough for me right now. I also think that I’ll be talking more walks along The Mall in the near future. Due to growing my business and having a gig,I spend more time alone than this extrovert likes, and at a time when I am sad and stressed that is definitely not a good thing.
In other tales, more things got worse for my family, too.
My favorite brother who lives overseas and whose wife is in a high-risk pregnancy just told us that he has the precursors of the cancer that is killing dad. Hopefully catching things so early means that appropriate treatment will save his life. That is highly likely. Thankfully, he lives in a country where medical care won’t bankrupt him. He can access it. Being afraid for dad made him go get tested for something that has been bothering him for a year. Our dad’s illness may have saved his life.
This type of cancer mainly impacts men, but just in case environmental factors played a part, my girlfriend asked me to get my physical and update my medical record with the new cancer prevalence in the family. So I’ve made that appointment. She also wants me to do a cancer screening, and I’ll ask my doctor if that is something we should do.  I also checked out the insurance available on the exchange for next year. My premiums are going up by a lot more than any other year since the ACA started, but insurance is important. I clearly need to study to earn more so that I can cover the expensive next few months.
My dad was not actually able to begin chemotherapy because he has not been able to eat or drink enough to have the appropriate ‘levels.’  This sounds ominous to me. I did ask a nurse I know for her thoughts. To her, it sounds normal and not ominous. I’m not convinced.
We are anxiously awaiting the next baby. It’s been a very high risk pregnancy and I have a lot of stress about her safety. Baby should arrive in the very near future.

This week’s net worth numbers

10/27/2017 11/3/2017
 Joy 1109 1110
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3424  3159
 IRA  15469  15851
 Brokerage 872  864
 Rewards Card 2  -1115  -630
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6168 (BT)  -5979 (BT)
SL 1 -105874 -105989
SL 2 -46660 -46713
 Earnest -2725 -2730
 Net Worth -141279 -140668
 Percentage Change -.67% .43%

When many things fall apart at once, what is your self-care? Have you ever used a therapist or Talk Space?

Net Worth Week 81 – My Love is Here Edition

Gentle Readers,
My love is able to work from my home for a few days! Seeing her for more than a 24 hour stint is luxurious. I’m so grateful for her closeness. The badness in the world makes me want to be near her, but it has not been financially, or otherwise, possible.  We weren’t sure this visit would actually happen. So I have some business meetings to attend while she is here, but I am hoping to handle them with a laser-focus efficiency.
MY LOVE IS HERE!
And, back to other bits of my reality.
Still no will yet.  I’ve not yet received my copy of his living will.
Favorite uncle is still in the hospital.
We are done to one pregnant person, because there is a new baby!
I did a ton for my business this week. There is one person in particular I’d love to hire me because I just really clicked well with her.
I’m still studying like a machine! For now, I am ahead in my 3 month plan, but we know that the best laid plans can fail. I’m just going to keep plowing through until there is an obstacle outside of my control.

This week’s net worth numbers

10/20/2017 10/27/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3001  3424
 IRA  15549  15469
 Brokerage 863  872
 Rewards Card 2  0  -1115
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6168 (BT)  -6168 (BT)
SL 1 -105759 -105874
SL 2 -46608 -46660
 Earnest -2719 -2725
 Net Worth -140343 -141279
 Percentage Change .25% -.67%

I guess if my father does not draft a will, then the state he lives in will control everything and I do less; anyone gone through this?

Net Worth Week 80 – Do What You Can Edition

Gentle Readers,
We’ve upgraded to a living will, but no will yet. He said he’d mail me a copy since I will be the one to make final decisions on his behalf. I wish he would draft a will. He’s told me generally what he wants, but that conversation has no legal ramifications.
My favorite uncle is on day 5 at the hospital now, as well. The pregnant people remain pregnant thankfully.
I did some good business things this week. I attended a professional luncheon and met others doing similar work. Multiple people also told me that they are sending people to my business soon. I hope at least one pans out. One client at a time is easiest when you have another job. I don’t know what my capacity for clients is during family emergencies, but I know that my business needs money to survive.
My dentist thinks my invisalign is going well. I told her about the travel situation with my dad and got her advice on how to handle timing. The pain is still around, but much better than before. My teeth are still sensitive enough that I can’t eat hard things and that is impacting me a bit, and I think that this restriction will last throughout treatment.
I’ve been very focused on studying when not worrying about my dad and my business. I have a 3 month plan to get myself over this hurdle and able to take on work in the skill.  These extra expenses right now are stressful and I am trying to focus that stress into learning.

This week’s net worth numbers

10/13/2017 10/20/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 2838  3001
 IRA  15309  15549
 Brokerage 838  863
 Rewards Card 2  0  0
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6270 (BT)  -6168 (BT)
SL 1 -105643 -105759
SL 2 -46555 -46608
 Earnest -2713 -2719
 Net Worth -140698 -140343
 Percentage Change .48% .25%

Still I wonder how to convince a dying person to write a will. Any tips?

Net Worth Week 79 – Oof Edition

Gentle Readers,
Still no word on a will. Treatment is not going as easily as he hoped.
I still have a job.
That’s all I can say for this week.

This week’s net worth numbers

10/6/2017 10/13/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3195  2838
 IRA  14719  15309
 Brokerage 855  838
 Rewards Card 2  0  0
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6270 (BT)  -6270 (BT)
SL 1 -105965 -105643
SL 2 -46702 -46555
 Earnest -2708 -2713
 Net Worth -141378 -140698
 Percentage Change .16% .48%

Have you ever convinced a dying person to write a will? How did you do it? 

Net Worth Week 78 – Pushing Through Edition

Gentle Readers,
I visited my father, and am glad that I have the flexibility that allows me to leave quickly when needed. I’m glad I was there. Instead of his first radiation treatment, we were sent to an ER where he stayed for a few days. The visit also gave me a chance to get some information I’ll need for his last wishes. He wants me to be the executrix and that will be easier if I know what he wants.
I’m grateful that tray two for invisalign is less brutal than tray one was. My teeth are still tender, which is expected, but I have not woken up from the pain during this tray. It is definitely impacting my eating habits. So many foods are just a no-go when your teeth are this sensitive. The candy my girlfriend bought me for the stress of my father’s illness now must be very gingerly and carefully consumed.
Now I’m just trying to make up the hours that I missed at work. The visit included a last minute hotel stay that I hadn’t budgeted for.

This week’s net worth numbers

9/29/2017 10/6/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3466  3195
 IRA  14542  14719
 Brokerage 827  855
 Rewards Card 2  0 0
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6270 (BT)  -6270 (BT)
SL 1 -105849 -105965
SL 2 -46649 -46702
 Earnest -3167 -2708
 Net Worth -141602 -141378
 Percentage Change -.67% .16%

Have you ever been in charge of a person’s estate? Any tips? 

Net Worth Week 77 – Flexibility Helps Edition

Gentle Readers,
I am off to my sick relative this afternoon. I will miss 3 days of work for this visit, but seeing him before the radiation and chemo wreck havoc on him will be worth it. Thankfully, I just had to pay the cost of taxes since I still had miles available.
It’s been quite a busy week. I put my first invisalign tray in on Tuesday and it was painful. It is stillpainful, but the pain for days two and three are different from day one. I met with my client yesterday to fulfill his last minute request, and earned a little money for my business. I gave my business another loan this week to get me through the next month. Hopefully, that will be the last loan necessary. The downsides to owning a small business include needing to handle things even when your family is in an emergency.
For my relative, I have no idea how he’ll respond to treatment. If he’ll respond. So far, he is in remarkably high spirits. Perhaps my girlfriend was right to believe that my family’s ornery-nature could prove the odds wrong???

This week’s net worth numbers

9/22/2017 9/29/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 4548  3466
 IRA  14213  14542
 Brokerage 837 827
 Rewards Card 2 0
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card -6270 (BT)  -6270 (BT)
SL 1 -105734 -105849
SL 2 -46596 -46649
 Earnest -3160 -3167
 Net Worth -140664 -141602
 Percentage Change .49% -.67%

How many times have your miles saved you money? I think I am at 4 or 5 “free” trips so far this year.

Net Worth Week 76 – Grief Approaches Edition

Gentle Readers,
I went to the baby-shower, and was a good family-member. I  showed up, but then I got the call no one wants. A family member has a terminal illness. The outlook is dim. It is possible he could be the outlier who lives, but the odds are not high. Very not high.
This week has been heavy and so draining. It will get worse.
Next week, I will receive my first set of invisalign and begin adjusting my teeth, and I will try to get everything I can done for my business and my job in anticipation of my flight to visit my family member for potentially the last time.
Thankfully, I work by the hour in my gig. I told them I won’t be there and I don’t have to think about them when I am gone. I do have to think about ensuring I earn enough money. But that is a problem for future ZJ. Right now, I need to be near him.
This week I’ve turned to my friends, without betraying his desire for privacy. I ate in their homes and read bedtime stories to their kids. I told them of my pain and they listened. They show up for me. They provided food and a willing ear.

This week’s net worth numbers

9/15/2017 9/22/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 4107  4548
 IRA  13882  14213
 Brokerage 823  837
 Rewards Card 2 -6345 0
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card 0  -6270 (BT)
SL 1 -105619 -105734
SL 2 -46544 -46596
 Earnest -3154 -3160
 Net Worth -141352 -140664
 Percentage Change -1.14% .49%

How have you handled anticipated grief?

Net Worth Week 75 – Babies R Us Edition


Gentle Readers,
It is almost time to pack my bag to head to the baby-shower I dread. But, my rule as a human is to show up whenever possible. Even if the family member is a schmuck. Definitely for a baby-shower, especially if the family member is a schmuck since the baby needs examples of how to be good when people are unkind.
I have now paid for nearly half of my invisalign and should receive my first trays in the next 1.5 weeks. It’s going to be more painful in the short-term, but will hopefully correct some of my TMJ. My wallet is not pleased. Since I am worried about cash-flow for myself and my business, I’ve initiated a balance transfer to give me breathing space to deal with the preliminary invisalign costs.  I will have until August 2018 to pay it off. It was approved, but has not yet shown up in the statement.
My student loan payments increase in October because I am on IBR and my income last year was higher than the year before, and I now have a monthly recurring payment for the remainder of my invisalign treatment. The last payment for invisalign corresponds closely with my last Earnest payment. It’s going to be a tight few months.
My dentist was surprised that my treatment plan is for five months. She had envisioned it closer to nine months. With her payment plan, patients pay roughly half upfront and then the remainder in equal monthly payments for the duration of treatment. If my invisalign needed longer to correct my teeth, I would have less of a cash-flow worry in the next few months. At the end of the treatment, I’ll need to pay for a new night guard to match my new smile. Unless my TMJ is entirely corrected, which is not the anticipated result

This week’s net worth numbers

9/8/2017 9/15/2017
 Joy 1109 1109
 Travel 1  1
 Down Payment 19 19
 Retirement 21 21
 Health 46 46
 Moving 286 286
 EF 11 11
Business 5 5
Life 3282  4107
 IRA  13555  13882
 Brokerage 825  823
 Rewards Card 2 -3781 -6345
 CC (largest) 0  0
 CC (longest) 0  0
 Rewards Card 0  0
SL 1 -105503 -105619
SL 2 -46491 -46544
 Earnest -3147 -3154
 Net Worth -139762 -141352
 Percentage Change .24% -1.14%

How much have you spent at the dentist this year?