Baby Shower Gifts When You Fear How They’ll Raise Children | baby shower gifts

Gentle Readers,

A small contingent of the family that I actually have a relationship with believes that I should stop being a lesbian and marry a man. I don’t know why this younger relative has decided to be such an ass, but he has. I don’t argue with it. I just avoid him as much as possible. I don’t have time for such ridiculous ideas. I am a lesbian. It’s not up for debate.

However, he also has a baby on the way and I have a family duty to let this little girl know that there are many ways to be a good human.

Thus began my quest to find baby books that would not be overtly LGBT-friendly, but covertly allow her to know that there are many wonderful differences in the world.

It’s a fine line. Nothing can say, “Hey your relative is a lesbian and she’s okay,” outright. I just need to plant the seeds that diversity of thought, ethnic group, and sexuality is okay.  To be extra covert, I bought some books that had no such intent, just some wonderful books that any baby would be delighted to chew on. I’m hoping the parents don’t notice what I’m doing.

The baby shower gifts I chose

Spots and Dots (Art Baby) – A beautiful book that can attract a baby’s eye. I think that there should be more art and beauty in everyone’s life.

More More More –  A book about being loved and cared for by parents. This concept is harder for my family than it should be. I hope that the cycle ends.

Spot Goes to the Farm – Dogs need adventures, too. This family member is least likely to leave a fifty-mile radius from his home. He would be well-served by learning about other ways of life. The world is less scary than he imagines.

Baby Loves Quantum Physics – Introducing hard concepts early even just briefly does wonders for expanding imaginations and belief in what is possible. And I’m a nerd who hopes to contribute to other people becoming nerds. My house growing up was filled with upper level books and I remember reading encyclopedias of science. I loved the concepts and hope she does too. I am no scientist now, but my life is enriched by hard concepts.

Whoever You Are = Accepting our differences and our similarities and loving that. This focuses on ethnic groups and nationalities. It’s a Reading Rainbow book and Levar Burton is hard to argue with.

We’re Different, We’re The Same = Sesame Street is hard to argue with, as well. Another book that focuses on visible differences rather than sexuality and gender identity.

Did I toe the line close enough? No rainbows, no two mommies, no genderqueer puppies. Just the smallest idea that there are more ways to be in the world.  Hopefully the parents won’t shut out this idea, but I must be careful.

How do you think I did in this quest?

Author: ZJ Thorne

Lesbian on the path to Financial Freedom

  • I think I am going to buy or library all of these! I had no clue about black and white/high contrast books for baby’s developing eyes until right before HP’s arrival. We have three and he is obsessed. He will look at each page for probably five minutes. I also shared this on Twitter (I think), but a coworker friend gifted It’s Okay to be Different. I adore it and so does he! It has stick drawings for everything from different families and different looks to having no hair (hi, husband) and being clumsy (hi, me). When he can understand the message, it will be even better!

    • High contrast books are so important! Babies take time to develop those muscles. And it is cute watching them figure out that they are seeing things.

      I’ll definitely put that in the basket for future presents. I’m the relative who will buy all books. 🙂

    • Developing those eyes is so important! I’m happy to sneak in some art while I encourage normative development. I hope this baby picks up all the messages I’m putting down. 🙂

  • femmefrugality

    I think you did great. Although I have had people tell me they wouldn’t let their kids watch Sesame Street because it was pushing a liberal agenda. SMH. Shame on those city, non-suburban kids for being portrayed in media…. (End sarcasm.)
    My pretty darn conservative parents fed is heaps of Sesame Street, though, so…
    That being said, I think most people want to feel like reasonable, accepting people even if they’re not. So I think the books will be well received. I especially love the Spot pick! Super covert with such an important message. I feel like if you can learn that lesson alone the others will come.

    • I hope you are right. They definitely want to pretend their reasonable. Sesame Street values!